She was for here with a to-go cup of coffee steaming.
It pressed the creases of her cheeks or the long green
dress lacing the chin that was something desired
and burned sitting still but still out on the sidewalk
we walked away from all the stuff on the subway
towards ditmas park through the park and the library
each building was red I got lost in the trails of the city
and drank beers with the baseball players.
I asked the dugout to share with me their bodies proudest moment.
When the reflex of an elbow was just right and we hit grand slams
and my wrists typed to write this down:
It happened like this: short stop grounder to second quick toss to first he’s out
I only blinked everything happened then it didn’t.
I sit with the book about the sheep and ear fetish on the express train
crawling, reading the anonymous notes from its last owner I finally
feel cheated since you gave me the book when it was for somebody else.
I take the long way out to feel the sensation of walking underground.
At home the toothbrush is cracked like some fossil
and she hasn’t been home for days
and the milk is sour but he is too afraid to look
and if you really wanted to know I still think about it:
How we wrapped her in the towel with beads of water
still on shoulder blades wet hair stuck together
she breathed in and out I will never forget that moment looking.
So the dreams are happening again.
It is warm inside and cool outside again.
The AC rolls next to my head the air on my knuckles
and everything in this room is the same but the room is not.
The sunlight is different and it never rains.
I can feel the shuttle subway sometimes if I give in.
The beginnings of these poems bloom in between
bowling green and nevins street drinking in and out,
wishing for a pitted moon to climb into slide out of
when we forgave each other on the yoga mat
in a tiny room above the largest place in New York.
We breathed like the impatient ocean I sometimes
fall asleep to. The rain against the tin makes it feel like
the universe is pouring buckets of azure water to pile
in drains and get stuck in the grass.
You drank too often and I could identify that
like your back in the crowds of billions.
I can’t forget our bodies like that, jesus even those rituals
of ice cream cones wrapped in paper towels or
to dab an extra layer of green nail polish for later
a small cigarette for now
I really just won’t forget it.